hey hi! i finally decided to stop procrastinating and post something on the blog. i'm just going to cut and paste tho'. found all these sexist jokes on my friend's blog. i'm sure it's going to keep u all entertained for a while n to destress!
All you want to know about men
What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?You can enjoy all but the head
What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.
What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?They both get hot in 15 seconds
Why can't a man be both good-looking and intelligent?Because that would make him a woman.
Why is a man's brain the size of a peanut?Because it is swollen.
Why are batteries better than men?Batteries have at least one positive end.
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.
Why are men like the letter Q?Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.
Why do fewer women get married these days?Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the living room.
Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?It is rarer.
What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive man?A rumour.
Why don't men go through menopause?They never left puberty.
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http://www.anvari.org/fun/Gender/All_You_Want_to_Know_About_Men.htmlAnother 40 years A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing Godshe asked "Is my time up?"God said, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have afacelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in andchange her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, shefigured she might as well make the most of it.After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. Whilecrossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
(....You'll love this!!!)God replied, " I didn't recognize you."
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Baby Quiz
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
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Divorced Barbie
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realized that itwas his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to themall, ran to the toy store, and said to the shop assistant, "How much is thatBarbie in the window?"In a condescending manner, she said, "Which Barbie? We have BarbieGoes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie GoesShopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie GoesNightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00."Ralph asked, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the othersare only $19.95?""That's obvious," the sales lady said. "Divorced Barbie comes withKen's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, and Ken's furniture.."
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Men and women
Man discovered WEAPONS and invented HUNTING,Woman discovered HUNTING and invented FURS.Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINTWoman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATIONWoman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOODWoman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVEWoman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY
Woman discovered MONEY and that's when it all got screwed up..
haha...hope it gave you a few good laughs!
